Well, it happened. PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW (something falling and smoke clearing). Tracy is that thing falling. I had a pretty good depression crash over the last few days. I've done all the necessary things to get myself stabilized and Matt has been holding my hand a lot. I don't know what has done it. Could be the medication (Cymbalta) is working some strange brew inside of me. Could be something from Mother Nature. I just don't know, but this was probably a 3.5 out of 5 on the Depression Richter Scale. So, I've been doing a lot of the following:
sleep
sleep
sleep
cry
cry
shower
eat
sleep
sleep
sleep
watch a little tv
sleep
Matt's been supporting me all the way. He's become a pro at this. At least I'm more functional than I was when I hit bottom during the beginning of November last year. I can do the shower and tv and eat thing, so I'm thankful for that. Stan, I tried Hamster Style with all my might but just couldn't beat up the darn thing. Maybe penguins would help. Matt and I were joking that it would be great to have a Run For Depression type benefit. Nobody could win because we'd all be too sad. One question I was asked by a few people was whether I felt I would hurt myself. Suicide, no. Cutting, maybe. Then I realized that I think my brain is more a danger to my body than I am to my body. It's like my brain is a UFO trying to abduct my body. More about my psychological musical chairs to come. Maybe I'll actually find out I have something like Chronic WompyWOO or meerkats behind my eyes.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
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4 comments:
Maybe it's a seasonal thing, or maybe it's just coincidence. Or maybe you're sad, because you believe that you ought to be sad, and can't find anything to pin your sadness on, so you pin it on yourself. And maybe, and maybe, and maybe...
There's a rock in my back garden. I'm very sad about that, because the rock, whilst it's a permanent feature, refuses to talk to me! I don't know, to be honest: people can be sad about anything, and, if that becomes a habit, even when there's nothing to be sad about, they'll still go into that pattern.
What makes you happy (ie, what kind of things are you doing, when you're happy?)?
Matt
Dearest Tracy:
I will be sending the Mother ship over with a mighty force of CIA genetically altered Penguins to see what's going on here {please dress in some form of appropriate attire since they sometimes video tape some of these encounters to watch later laughing and drinking fine micro brewed beer (laughing).
I know {since I refuse to take drugs and have some pretty major depression bouts with bipolar, not to mention my recent Dam Bramage}; I have learned over time and experience, that I just have to embrace the moment, force myself to do the bare necessities, and let time and nature do its own work until I come back to my abnormal insane state once more.
Remember also that if Hamster Kung Fu is ineffective, there is always Gerbil Judo to try. Please use caution though; many husbands have been seriously injured by such activity {laughing}.
It's always helps if you have a passion {such as your art or writing to pour some of those feelings into}. Of course a nice walk in the woods or park is always a sure fire way to stop the ground from shaking too much for a short term anywise.
Taking the time to focus on the little things and appreciate the small miracles all around us is a good way to reset your mind barometer. Of course last but not least; is to SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY, SIMPLIFY.
I send you my heartfelt prayers and wishes.
WARNING MESSAGE:
At this time you should remove all china, small creatures, and breakable items from high selves, and check your emergency preparedness kit just in case this is the BIG ONE {Smirk}
Yours Truly,
Stan
Bless both of you. It's nice to have your wishes. I guess it was never meant to be a fun ride.
No wuckin' furries, to use the Oz spoonerism!
Matt
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