Have YOU Ever Been Mellow?

Previously, I felt like a randy Madeline Kahn in History of the World, Part I, after revealing some of my crushes. But now I kind of feel like Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles as the sultry Marlene Dietrich-type singer. "I'm Tiwed." So, why is this? Well, here, I'll tell you.

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I think I hit a small dip in the emotional road. It wasn't bad, but it was just enough to make me take notice and begin to adjust some things, like sleep, activities; slow it down a bit. I've been one buzy doozer.

On Tuesday or Wednesday I watched The Butcher Boy, a movie by Neil Jordan based on the novel by Patrick McCabe, which is about a Irish boy during the '60s who begins to fall apart after devastating events. Do you see what's real or only in his head? While most movies do go over-the-top with portraying mental illness, since there's no way to accurately portray falling apart, coming together, and looping in and out of your head in an accurate visual way. However, while this movie is over-the-top, it has surprising subtlety in some places, some unexpected breaks in the chaos that make total sense to me. It took me a day or two to digest The Butcher Boy and figure out whether I liked it. I came away thinking it was amazing. The lead actor, Eamonn Owens, is astounding and I love Stephen Rea, who plays the lead's dad, as a given. Sinead O'Connor is Our Lady. Note that the movie is gory in parts and will climb under your skin for a good nap. But its haunting aura makes the movie stick with you.

I came away with a question. What do you hear, taste, smell, and see when you fall apart?



Thursday was the beginning of a two-day concert fest. Now, you already know I love the Eagles of Death Metal. And you know I have a crush on the lead singer, Jesse Hughes.


So, Matt and I went to see the band on Thursday. I decided I would dress the part of the rock and roller, so I wore heels that were about 5 " high, black skirt, fishnet stockings, crazy hair, big hat, and a shirt that says PENIS. I was so psyched. I'm not very tall and I always get stuck behind a guy who's about 6' tall. I'm about 5'1" and so it's never fun. Matt always encourages me to move around the theater until I find a good place. I thought, what the heck, I'll try to move toward the stage. I gently pushed and shoved my way down until I got in front of this guy who was talking to me in a loud voice, saying, "wanna take it outside," meaning that I had pushed him over to the side and now he was FRUTRATED (spelling to indicate extreme frustration. I ignored him and other people around kind of mumbled, shrugged, and looked at him like he was an idiot. But I got mine when he said, "OK, I'm the ***hole, I'm the ***hole. I'm leaving!" At this a whole group of people, girls included, began clapping. Then I heard someone say, and I'm sure it was about him, "it's one thing to be an idiot but to be an ***hole too." Ha-ha! It was awesome. I continued just loving the whole night. My feet began to kill me, I was tired, but I didn't care. I was feeling better than I had in a while, I was dressed the way I like, and I wanted to rock and roll. At one point the guitarist and I locked eyes. He gave me the you're a chick and you rock look and I gave him the YOU ROCK look. It's always hard to describe the energy of a rock concert because it's so ethereal. But there's all kinds of spiritual and sexual energy spinning around. I got pretty close to the front of the stage to rock out and Matt met me up there towards the end. But then . . .

On Friday we went to see a hard and ready reggae band called Groundation. Sometimes it's difficult for me to keep in a reggae groove because I get ansty and, as Matt says, reggae is often about getting totally relaxed and zoning. Let me tell you, this band just throws everything at you. It's hard to get unfocused at their show because they are about the spirituality inherent in their music, they're about changing life, they are about telling you their truth. The lead singer's voice is a gymnastical whirl. I don't know how he does some of the things he does. This was a celebration now that the US has an exciting new president. Groundation was here to make that know. "New President . . . New President . . . New President . . . New President . . . New President," the lead singer chanted to cheers and screams from the audience. I got chills. Matt and I met up with two of our good friends at this show. We feel, at least Matt and I feel, so much older because our ideal show ends at 10 PM. Yeesh. How can you roll with that? This is a talented band of top-notch musicians. Very hot. I think their live shows give you more of a touch of this than their albums. But if you're into reggae, check out their albums. I don't see their back-up singers in the above picture, but they are gorgeous and amazing and really gave the show a heavy injection of groove. Kudos, big kudos, to them.

So, after all of this I was ready for a rest and took note of the experiences I just had. I remember when Matt and I went to Vegas one time I had sensory overload. I literally had to be somewhere silent or I thought I would explode. I judge my subsequent experiences by that. I'd say this past week wasn't anywhere near that experience, but it was enough for me to sleep and sleep rather than rock and roll.